Many workplaces still make the mistake of assuming domestic and family violence (DFV) has nothing to do with them.
It’s seen as a “private matter” — something best left at home, beyond the reach of policy or responsibility. But the truth is, DFV doesn’t clock off at 9am. Its impacts ripple into the workplace in complex, damaging ways. Ignoring that isn’t just negligent. It’s harmful. And for leaders and HR teams, it’s a missed opportunity to intervene where it matters most.
In this blog, we explore the most common mistakes organisations make when responding to DFV, why they cause workplace harm, and how employers can do better — for their people, their culture, and their legal obligations.
🚩 Mistake #1: Treating DFV as a “Private Issue”
Let’s start with the most enduring — and damaging — myth.
Many leaders believe that DFV is something that happens outside of work and is therefore not a business concern. But under Australia’s Work Health and Safety laws, workplaces are legally obliged to manage risks to both physical and psychological safety — including those related to DFV.
The risk isn’t abstract.
- Perpetrators may harass or stalk employees at work, online or during work travel.
- Survivors may experience trauma symptoms, fear, or burnout that affect their ability to work safely.
- Teams may be impacted by the fallout — confusion, fear, presenteeism, or vicarious trauma.
By not acknowledging this, workplaces not only abandon affected employees — they also expose themselves to WHS breaches and reputational risk.
🧠 DFV is not “just HR’s problem”. It’s a safety issue. And safety is everyone’s business.
🚩 Mistake #2: Assuming a Policy Is Enough
Many organisations believe that once they’ve added a DFV clause to their leave policy, they’ve “done their bit.” But policies — while essential — are only part of the picture.
What’s often missing:
- Visibility: Do staff actually know the policy exists?
- Accessibility: Is it easy to understand, translated, and culturally appropriate?
- Actionability: Are managers trained in what to do if someone discloses abuse?
A policy that sits on an intranet — unreferenced and unread — is functionally useless. Worse, it creates false assurance: a belief that the workplace is safe, when in fact support systems are patchy or non-existent.
📌 Fix it: Make your policy visible, practical and lived. Include examples of how support might look (e.g. flexible rosters, relocation, role changes) and commit to reviewing it every 12 months.
🚩 Mistake #3: Waiting for Someone to Disclose
Workplaces often design support around disclosure — assuming people will come forward when they need help. But research and experience tell a different story.
Disclosure is rare. Silence is common.
Why don’t people speak up?
- Fear of job loss or retaliation
- Shame or stigma
- Fear that they won’t be believed
- Concern that their abuser will find out
- A history of being dismissed in other settings
If your DFV response only kicks in after someone discloses, it’s too late for many. We must create cultures where help-seeking is safe, not costly — and that starts with proactive, universal support.
🧭 Don’t wait for people to come to you. Design your systems as though someone already needs help — because they do.
🚩 Mistake #4: Forgetting the Broader Team
When someone at work is experiencing DFV, it doesn’t just affect them. Colleagues often:
- Witness changes in mood or performance
- Field calls from abusive partners
- Feel helpless, confused, or distressed
- Become informal supports without knowing what to say or do
But few workplaces prepare teams for this. We overlook the emotional labour colleagues are carrying — and the psychological safety risks that follow.
The result? Burnout, conflict, or staff leaving altogether.
✅ Fix it: Train teams in bystander awareness, equip managers with scripts, and ensure supports (like EAP or peer debriefs) are available to all staff — not just the person directly affected.
🚩 Mistake #5: Failing to Recognise Perpetrators at Work
This is a difficult truth: sometimes, the person using violence is also your employee.
Workplaces often freeze when this happens. But inaction is not neutral — it can enable harm to continue, or escalate.
Common workplace oversights:
- Ignoring warning signs (e.g. controlling behaviours, harassment of other staff)
- Failing to manage internal complaints linked to DFV
- Letting staff misuse workplace resources to stalk, threaten or intimidate
The WHS duty of care applies here too. If a staff member’s behaviour puts others at risk — whether through direct abuse or coercive control — the workplace must act.
🔐 Silence is complicity. Safe workplaces are proactive, not passive.
🚩 Mistake #6: Relying Too Heavily on EAP
Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs) are useful — but they are not a comprehensive DFV response.
Many EAP providers:
- Offer only short-term counselling
- Lack specialist DFV knowledge
- Aren’t culturally safe or accessible for all employees
Even when EAP is excellent, it’s not enough. Survivors often need:
- Legal advice
- Financial support
- Housing options
- Safety planning
- Flexible workplace adjustments
⚠️ Fix it: EAP should be one tool, not the only one. Build partnerships with DFV services, train managers, and offer internal pathways that are practical and survivor-centred.
🚩 Mistake #7: Overlooking Structural Risk Factors
Some workplaces create the very conditions where harm flourishes — without realising it. These include:
- Insecure work arrangements: Casual or gig workers are less likely to report abuse, fearing job loss.
- Power imbalances: Junior staff or migrants may feel unsafe speaking up.
- Lack of diversity: Homogeneous teams often overlook culturally-specific needs or risks.
- Excessive privacy culture: Mistakenly protects abusers under the guise of confidentiality.
These structural issues don’t cause DFV — but they create fertile ground for silence, fear, and harm.
🛠 Fix it: Conduct a workplace risk audit. Who might be least able to access support? Whose voices aren’t in the room? What would safety look like for them?
🚩 Mistake #8: Confusing “Neutrality” with Safety
Many leaders — especially in HR or legal — are taught to stay neutral. But neutrality can feel like abandonment to someone in crisis.
Phrases like:
- “We can’t take sides.”
- “Let’s not jump to conclusions.”
- “We need to wait for more evidence.”
…may be well-intentioned, but they often mirror the gaslighting survivors already experience. They place the burden on the individual, rather than on systems of support.
💡 True safety is not neutral. It is actively biased toward protection, care, and trauma-informed response.
🚩 Mistake #9: Focusing Only on One Experience
DFV is gendered — but it doesn’t only affect cisgender women. Men, non-binary people, LGBTIQ+ staff, people with disability, and culturally diverse employees also experience (and use) violence.
If your response framework assumes a “default victim” (e.g. white, straight, cis woman), you risk:
- Alienating others
- Misreading disclosure cues
- Missing perpetrators in unexpected roles
Inclusive responses start by listening to diverse lived experience — and designing for the full spectrum of staff who may be impacted.
🌈 Support must be survivor-informed, not stereotype-informed.
🚩 Mistake #10: Failing to Hold Leadership Accountable
Culture isn’t what’s written on your intranet — it’s what leaders model, allow, or ignore.
When senior leaders dismiss concerns, joke about DFV, or fail to act on reports, they signal to staff: this isn’t safe to talk about.
The result?
- Underreporting
- Disengagement
- Workplace exits
- Brand and reputational damage
Leadership accountability isn’t just about avoiding scandal. It’s about setting the standard for empathy, integrity, and courage.
🧭 Culture flows from the top. So must responsibility.
✅ A Safer Way Forward: What Best Practice Looks Like
It’s not all bad news. Many workplaces are stepping up — and reaping the benefits of getting this right. Here’s what best practice looks like in action:
1. Visible Commitment
- Leadership messages, not just policies
- Posters, resources, and survivor-informed language
- DFV included in onboarding and training
2. Trained Managers
- Equipped to recognise signs
- Confident in responding and referring
- Regularly refreshed training
3. Practical Support
- Paid DFV leave
- Role and roster flexibility
- Emergency accommodation or financial support
- Confidential changes to contact info
4. Inclusive and Safe Systems
- Interpreters, cultural brokers, gender-diverse support options
- Multiple reporting pathways (not just HR)
- Trauma-informed investigations
5. Continuous Improvement
- Feedback loops with affected staff
- Annual audits of policies and culture
- Partnerships with expert services
Final Word: Good Intentions Aren’t Enough — But They’re a Start
Workplaces don’t need to be perfect. But they need to be willing.
Willing to learn, to listen, and to act.
Because in every organisation, someone is already managing risk on their own — juggling trauma, safety, and silence while trying to stay employed. What we do as workplaces can either deepen that harm — or start to lift it.
At Capyble, we believe workplaces can be part of the solution. Not just by avoiding mistakes — but by becoming places of trust, accountability, and healing.
And that starts with naming what’s not working.
