If you’re reading this, you may be here for one of a few reasons.
Maybe something feels off with your phone.
Maybe messages disappear or appear that you didn’t send.
Maybe you’re receiving constant check-ins, location requests, login alerts, or questions about where you’ve been that no one should know the answers to.
Maybe you left an abusive relationship, or you’re planning to, and you want to make sure your technology is safe.
You’re not alone.
Technology-facilitated abuse (TFA) — where devices, apps or digital accounts are used to stalk, monitor, harass or control — is becoming more common with domestic, family and sexual violence. The online world that should give freedom is being used to trap people instead. That is why taking control of your digital footprint matters.
Today, we’re walking you through a self-guided digital audit using two key safety resources:
- Technology Audit: Identifying a client’s devices, apps and online accounts
- Protecting clients from technology-facilitated abuse: a guide to use technology safely
This is not just a checklist — it’s a journey back to control, one tap, one login, one device at a time.
Take a breath.
You’re doing something strong.
Before We Begin — A Crucial Safety Note
Not all change is safe. Sometimes, tightening security signals to a perpetrator that they’re losing access, which may escalate risk.
Both guides stress the same instruction:
“Any technology safety planning is done in the context of broader domestic, family and sexual violence risk assessment and safety planning tools.”
If there’s any chance someone monitoring you would notice changes, consider seeking advice first. If you’re unsure, speak with a domestic violence service or call 1800RESPECT.
Now — let’s reclaim your digital life gently, safely, and at your pace.
Your Digital Audit Journey — Step by Step
Imagine you’re walking through a house.
Each room holds devices, accounts, memories, and pieces of your story.
This guide lets you walk through that house with the lights on.
Today, you’re the one holding the torch.
Room One: Personal Devices — Your Digital Skin
Phones, laptops, tablets, watches — they go everywhere with us.
They store messages, photos, biometrics, history.
They’re often the first place abuse shows.
From the Technology Audit tool (page 2) look at:
📱 Mobile phones
💻 Laptops
⌚ Smart watches & fitness trackers
📶 Modems & home routers
🎧 Bluetooth headphones
Stop and ask yourself:
- Has anyone else had physical access to these devices?
- Could they know your passcode or biometrics?
- Has your device been behaving strangely — shutting on/off, slow, high data use, logins you don’t recognise?
According to the support guide, signs of spyware include:
• slow device performance
• spikes in data usage
• unexpected deletion of messages or apps
• blocked access to certain numbers or sites
If this sounds familiar, your instinct is worth listening to.
Room Two: Travel and Location — Movement as Vulnerability
We don’t think of E-toll accounts, Uber trips or AirTags as privacy risks — but they create a digital map of your life.
The audit includes:
🚗 Ride-share accounts (Uber/DiDi/Ola)
📍 GPS devices
🔗 Location-sharing apps like Life360
🧭 Map apps tracking search history
🔔 AirTags/Tiles/Find My Device
If someone always knows where you are — even when you don’t tell them — location settings are the first place to look.
Try this:
- Turn off location sharing everywhere unless needed
- Review ride-share history and unlink shared users
- Remove unknown tracking devices from Bluetooth & Find My
Small adjustments can create big space to breathe.
Room Three: Cloud, Backups & Identity — Where Secrets Live
Photos, emails, online storage — this is the most overlooked area of TFA.
Your audit lists:
☁️ Cloud storage (Google Drive, iCloud, OneDrive)
📬 Email accounts
💳 Government IDs: MyGov, Medicare, ATO
📅 Online calendars like Google & Outlook
Ask yourself:
- Is your ex still logged into shared accounts?
- Do they know your email password?
- Do you see logins from unknown locations?
A safety step you can take today:
✔ reset email passwords (make them long + unpredictable)
✔ enable multi-factor authentication with a new email/number
✔ review calendar event sharing
✔ don’t reinstall phones from an old backup — it may contain spyware
This part takes energy — go gently.
You’re building future safety from the inside out.
Room Four: Children’s Tech — Tiny Devices, Big Risk
If you have children, tech often moves between hands without notice.
Small devices create big information shadows.
The audit lists:
🧸 Baby monitors
🤖 Smart toys
🕹 Game consoles
🎮 Account-linked apps
Review:
- Does the other parent have logins for these devices?
- Do children unknowingly share their location online?
- Are devices syncing to shared iCloud/Google accounts?
You don’t need to remove tech — only secure it.
Room Five: Social Media — Abusers’ Favourite Window
Instagram stories, Facebook check-ins, TikTok comments — everyday sharing unintentionally opens doors.
Audit items include:
📱 Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok
🌏 YouTube, Reddit, X (Twitter)
Consider:
- Who can see your posts?
- Who is following you that you no longer trust?
- Are your photos revealing background locations or schedules?
Quick empowerment steps:
✔ switch accounts to private
✔ remove old followers
✔ turn off location tagging
✔ stop automatic photo backups if linked to shared accounts
Safety isn’t silence — it’s choice.
Room Six: Home & Lifestyle — Smart Devices, Quiet Risks
Many people don’t think of fridges, speakers or TVs as surveillance tools — but they can be.
Audit flags include:
📹 Home security cameras
🔊 Google Nest / Amazon Alexa
🛍 Delivery apps
🧾 Utility accounts
If groceries arrive unexpectedly…
If Alexa knows commands you didn’t teach…
If your Wi-Fi is connected to unknown devices…
Trust your gut.
Update passwords.
Change Wi-Fi login details.
Remove shared household accounts.
Safety is built in layers — you’re adding one now.
Room Seven: Finance & Work — Where Digital and Real-World Risk Meet
Financial tracking = control.
Workplace accounts = access.
Audit includes:
💳 Banking & PayPal
📈 Investment platforms
🖥 Remote access apps (Teamviewer/AnyDesk)
🎓 Shared uni or work platforms
A few questions to sit with:
- Does someone else see your bank statements automatically?
- Does an ex still have access to your MyGov or ATO account?
- Could someone remotely access your work computer?
Protecting money protects freedom.
What To Do If You Find Something Concerning
If this audit reveals access you didn’t know about — pause before acting.
Changing passwords suddenly can alert a perpetrator and increase danger.
The TFA support guide recommends planning first:
- Prioritise high-risk accounts
- Seek advice before factory resets
- Consider creating new accounts rather than modifying old ones
You’re reclaiming your life — strategically, grounded, powerful.
Feeling Empowered: What Safe Technology Can Look Like
This journey is not about fear.
It’s about choice.
A safe digital space is one where you can:
- Text freely without panic
- Take a photo without worrying who sees it
- Search online without being tracked
- Work, parent, rest — unmonitored
- Rebuild life without invisible eyes watching
You deserve privacy.
You deserve peace.
You deserve digital autonomy.
Where to Get More Help and Support
If you’re navigating tech-facilitated abuse, you don’t have to do it alone.
Helpful next steps:
🛟 1800RESPECT — counselling & safety planning
🖥 eSafety Commissioner — TFA support services
📘 The See, Hear, Believe workplace resource
📄 The technology audit & safety planning tools used in this guide
And most importantly — trust your instincts.
The fact you’re here means you already sense your own worth.
You are allowed to take up space.
Digitally. Physically. Entirely.
